Yup, I've been absent here for a LLOOONNNGG time.

No one seemed to notice though, but oh well. It's ok.

It's my holidays at the moment, and I've been trying to land a waitressing job because I haven't waitressed before, simple as that. For the experience.

Of course I'm still giving tuition. But that doesn't take up much of my time. I'm pretty worried that I'll be burnt out.

But, I need my money. For the sake of money, I've to go on. Materialistic? Or simply a realist?

A friend recently concluded that I was materialistic. In retrospect, it stung. But then, I decided not to let that remark affect me. It is true, I think so myself. Materialism has negative connotations to it. I'm materialistic because of the way I was brought up. Not that I was brought up to be materialistic, but rather, I was forced to support myself at about 17. And since then, it has been a financial struggle all the way. That's why I place so much importance on money.

Is that good?

Sometimes I just wish my mom provided for me, then I wouldn't have to work so hard. Selfish thought, of course. But providing for myself is really tiring, especially when I am unable to work full time.

It's so draining emotionally and physically. Watching the bills pile up one by one, social events that definitely drain resources, the usual young adult lifestyle with friends. Living in a cosmopolitan world where costs of living is high. SIGH.

I'm maturing so fast and most of the time all I can think of is how to make more money and when my next bill is going to come.

Is this how a twenty year old lives?