Diary of a Working Student

I've always dreamt of having students who would do work without me asking them to, and all I have to do is correct it and talk about it with them. Just like how it is in University.

Finally, I've got two such students. But I'm feeling pressured instead.

You see, instead of the usual them doing the work and me correcting it when I go to their house, they will email me with their work and I'll have to edit and send it back before I get to their house. Then we will discuss it when I get to their house.

It's stressful because I have to specally set aside time in my packed schedule just to correct it, and God knows I am very detailed in my corrections. It takes time to do it. Thing is, I don't have so much time, or rather, I'm not willing to put in so much time after work just to edit their work. I need my rest too, but these students and parents don't seem to understand that. They think that just because they're paying, the teachers are thus robots and not humans like them. They forget that I have a life outside their once-a-week tuition sessions.

I have six students now. School is reopening on monday and I predict busy weeks of juggling work and tuition and eventually tuition and school. I just want the year to end soon so I can drop those students who are taking their O Levels.

For my term holidays, I have found a job as a childcare assistant. It's a montessori centre, and I am awed by the Montessori Way. I love it even though it's bloody expensive.

It has been great working there. There is great camaraderie among the teachers and non-teaching staff. Very different from my previous company, the law firm. If I can extrapolate my experience at the law firm to represent the corporate world, I can firmly say that I am disgusted by how the corporate world works. It is a very dreary world. I could barely keep my eyes open in the office because the work is so boring and unchallenging and uninspiring and at the end of the day - meaningless. I was truly working only for the money there.

At the childcare centre, there is joy and innocence and happiness. Something that seriously lacks in the corporate world. Innocence is probably a taboo there. The kids really touch my heart and even though I've only been there for 4 weeks, it's enough to make me experience a whole lot of positive emotions that I have never felt before. Maybe it was because I was scared of loving, but there, the kids make you wanna love them. It's so easy to love them and expect nothing in return, unlike adult relationships.

I will truly miss working there when term starts again.

On a bright note, I'm doing pretty well in university. Good enough for my mom to be happy. My year one GPA is 3.78 out of a total of 5. Not the best, and can definitely be better. But for my first year, I am pleased. :-)

Yup, I've been absent here for a LLOOONNNGG time.

No one seemed to notice though, but oh well. It's ok.

It's my holidays at the moment, and I've been trying to land a waitressing job because I haven't waitressed before, simple as that. For the experience.

Of course I'm still giving tuition. But that doesn't take up much of my time. I'm pretty worried that I'll be burnt out.

But, I need my money. For the sake of money, I've to go on. Materialistic? Or simply a realist?

A friend recently concluded that I was materialistic. In retrospect, it stung. But then, I decided not to let that remark affect me. It is true, I think so myself. Materialism has negative connotations to it. I'm materialistic because of the way I was brought up. Not that I was brought up to be materialistic, but rather, I was forced to support myself at about 17. And since then, it has been a financial struggle all the way. That's why I place so much importance on money.

Is that good?

Sometimes I just wish my mom provided for me, then I wouldn't have to work so hard. Selfish thought, of course. But providing for myself is really tiring, especially when I am unable to work full time.

It's so draining emotionally and physically. Watching the bills pile up one by one, social events that definitely drain resources, the usual young adult lifestyle with friends. Living in a cosmopolitan world where costs of living is high. SIGH.

I'm maturing so fast and most of the time all I can think of is how to make more money and when my next bill is going to come.

Is this how a twenty year old lives?

Got a new assignment today. It was supposed to be only English, $200. Not too bad actually.

After one lesson, her father decided that she needed English, Maths AND Science. So well.. I got the boot. These parents really squeeze us dry sometimes. ALL three subjects and still at the same fee? Besides, it's actually less taxing on us. In a way.

If we only had one subject, we can devote our time entirely on that subject. Better quality. But with three subjects in one and a half hours, it is really not possible to only devote half an hour on each subject. As a result, quality AND quantity is compromised. Who suffers? The child.

I once had this student who was sitting for her end-year examinations, and even though she was a pretty good student from one of the top ten schools in the country, her mother still gave her tuition.

Boy have I seen such an over-zealous parent! My first lesson there, she made me stay for three hours! She even provided me with a three course meal-main, soup and dessert. Her poor daughter was barely able to stifle her yawn by the second hour.

I wonder.. Did these parents suffer some kind of serious setback in life because they had a lack of education and are thus going all out to deprive their kids of a childhood to gain an education that can apparently help them get further in life? If so, the kids of these parents are really pitiful.

My parents did not have a degree, but they have managed to raise my siblings properly and we do not feel deprived (most of the time). Compared with (if we must compare) other families, we are pretty happy (kind of). I still have fond memories of my childhood which I am thankful of.

AND, I still managed to pursue a college degree.

School has started..

I'm back to giving tuition. Thing is, it's so hard trying to settle on an amount.

There's these two kids that I taught last year. $320. I'm trying to ask for $350 this year.

My rationale: They're of a higher level now, and I'm going to be teaching them something that is more difficult than last year. It's not like I'm teaching them the same stuff, though essentially it's the same subject. Besides, it's only $30 extra.

Yet their guardian has been trying to avoid talking to me. Or rather, he seems not interested.

I've already called him twice. Should I wait for one more day? Should I even call him and risk seeming desperate? Hell, I am desperate.

I need money because school is starting. Has started. So many books to buy, and travelling costs as well.

I hope that I'll be able to get more assignments.

Time to contact the agency.

With a determined financial plan.

Final goal: To have 600 in bank account by December.

Steps to take:

Save at least 50 from every tuition assignment every month.

This year's about to end soon!

I can't wait. This means that I'm going to get paid VERY soon, and I can stop working at the firm.

One thing about working there: I think the lawyers are really snobbish. Why do they think that because they are well-educated they can look down on others? Is this what education does ultimately?

The definition of a lawyer: Pretentious snob.

I'm tired of working in the firm now.

And it's only been a week.

Mental note to self: Start saving so that next year I won't have to work in December!

It's so tiring doing despatch and walking around the city area to get from one company to another. My other colleagues don't seem to understand how tiring it is. Just because I'm young doesn't mean I'm a working machine.

So I've found a job.. at the previous firm I worked with before starting college.

So much for not wanting to go back there.

It's really tough searching for a job when you've only got 1 month to spare. Everyone wants at least 2 months. My friends have told me not to tell them I can only work for 1 month, but I think that'd be rather dishonest. Besides, the conversation usually steers to that topic:

Interviewer: How old are you?

Me: 19

I: Oh, junior college waiting for A Level results?

Me: No, actually I'm in my first year university.

I: So you're having holidays now?

Me: Yes

I: Till when?

Me: I start school in January..

See, lying ain't gonna work.

On the bright side, at least I am familiar with the work environment I am in now. Familiar with most procedures. Familiar enough not to have to go through the whole routine of getting acquainted with your new colleagues.

When it comes to work, I'm serious. I'm dubious when I come across ads that say: FUN ENVIRONMENT. I can't work if it's a "fun environment." I'm really anti-social. I hate making friends in a new environment. Therefore, I work best if I'm left alone to my own devices. I'll seek help if I need it, if not leave me alone. We don't have to become best friends just because I'm working with you. You don't have to try hard to be nice because it doesn't matter to me. I'm here to work. If I want to play, I have my own friends. If you want to have lunch with me, fine. We will stick to safe topics like how's my school, how long have you been in this line, etc. No personal questions, please.

I'll likely grow up to become those corporate bitches who are only intent on climbing the corporate ladder through unscrupulous means. Maybe. Though I feel that if I work hard, I should deserve the promotion. No back-stabbing, of course. I don't believe in those. I believe in hard work and determination. As well as the right moment. And taking all opportunities that come my way. If you're more interested in seeing the office as a social place, then don't resent me if I'm promoted faster than you. I'm willing to sacrifice social time and work as long as possible on week days. If you're not, then that's your problem.

With my work attitude, I hope that I won't be hated when I finally emerge in the working life for real. I'm truly apprehensive.

For now, I'll just immerse myself in work and look forward to the paycheck at the end.

I'll be giving tuition soon too. Can't wait.

MONEY

Went ok.

But I didn't get the job since the guy didn't call me back.

Darn. I was so hoping to land the job. I guess I have to go back to my previous company. Let's hope they'll employ me.

It's hard looking for a job when you only have a one month vacation.

I hope my friends will understand that I'm broke and have no money to go clubbing and shopping and pubbing and all that jazz.

Sometimes it seems like I'm the only one that's impoverished.

Maybe I'm just not handling my finances well.

Then again, my friends don't seem to have to worry about bills and transport and food and all those bread and butter issues. Maybe bill, but ultimately, they still get allowances.

They have parents, I have parents too. Just a different one.

Éxams just ended last Friday. I'm totally struggling with my finances.

With no more tuition, I desperately need income!

I'll be going for an interview tomorrow. I hope all goes well.

Don't really want an office job that's 9-5 actually, because then it might clash with my carolling practices and stuff. SIGH. But I guess that's the only way I can earn more than $500 in one month.

I hope I won't have to struggle with my finances when I get older.

Christmas is in less than a month. I'll need some form of money to get the gifts. MONEY MONEY MONEY!